Wednesday, June 25, 2008

the Orange County Beach House Post-Armageddon

Let's take a moment and envision the "closed doors" meeting at Mattel, the unearthing of a brand new Barbie. All the details are meticulously planned out, right down to the packaging. Hundreds of hours of overtime have gone into the final product. Large glossy color posters adorn the board room.

Eyebrows raise at the unveiling, side conversations begin. It's the birth of a new Orange County Barbie. The executives are in love. Simply in love.

Just for the sake of detail, let's even imagine an argument ensuing over the number of twist ties that hold the O.C. Barbie into her packaging and the sewing of her hair onto cardboard to create the perfect effect. The argument was a shot in the dark, from a real life mother and top Mattel Designer, to give all of us consumers of Barbie a voice at last. She knows what it's like, ripping into the box, can't move your hands fast enough, the scissors get caught up, all while a four year old is screaming, "I WANT IT NOW"!

The new, latest and greatest Barbie hitting in mass quantities at every local big box retailer straight off the boat from Taiwan (so Mattel can boast in today's climate, not made in China) is complete with a twenty piece line of accessories. Cell phone, purses, a small arm held pooch, lovely black eyeliner, gravity defying ta-ta's, a gorgeous hybrid convertible, and a Laguna Beach House. Orange County Barbie has it all.

But what the executives fail to see, is after her newness wears off, Barbie sits in a bin with the other cast off Barbies. Crammed to the gills, next to accessories, clothing, missing shoes, brushes, and glitter. Her hair becomes rather nappy in a gorgeous Hippie Barbie kind of way. Maybe someone even brought her into the bathtub and applied bar soap to her shiny coiffed locks.

Eventually her Laguna Beach House is replaced by some other latest and greatest marketed toy. And then it happens, it finds it's way into the backyard, because no mother in her right mind would house and unwanted Barbie Beach House in the confines of a organized bedroom or playroom to collect dust.

See these days, Barbie is rolling up in her Tonka Dump Truck, to her weathered abode. Shaking her head and wondering where the good old days of glamour have gone?!





***The identity of this Barbie has been changed to protect her innocence in the Blogosphere. Please note, she sold her diamond ring to pay for back taxes on her house when her secondary role in Sex and The City was cut.

14 comments:

  1. I actually laughed out loud for this one. For me it is Hot Wheels and tracks. KDV

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  2. Oh Barbie...what have you done to yourself?!?

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  3. HAHAHA!! I love this post!! Good one! I can totally relate. Ms. E LOVES to chop off the hair of most of her dolls. The hair styles she creates make Victoria Beckam's haircut look so 5 years ago :)

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  4. Love it. What I love most, is that I am a native OC girl. I had no idea they had an OC Barbie. I don't know how I feel about that. I'm thinking that they pretty much captured the essence of it...

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  5. too funny, at least she seems to have kept all of her appendages.

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  6. Driving a tonka truck on the beach is much more practical than a convertible. :)

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  7. ah poor barbie, mines are thomas trains or anything with wheels really! Guess i had better scrap the idea of a barbie car for her birthday then!

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  8. Oh Barbie, Barbie, Barbie...how far you have fallen. Apparently that long weekend with GI Joe was the end of the road for you. You never quite recovered from that, did you? You poor thing. C'mon, girlfriend, put on your big girl panties and get over him already. Mojitos for everyone! ;)

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  9. laughed out loud here as well and *sorely* needed it.

    you are hilarious.

    Miz.

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  10. Hahahaha!

    We have no Barbies around here. I had ONE from my childhood and my son ripped it's head off.
    Nice.

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  11. I feel bad for Barbie (and all her Barbie friends who live at my house).

    I'm trying not to imagine what she's had to resort to, in that last photo, to pay her way through college. ;-)

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  12. Love it! And omg, I love the tiny little sand toys!!!! (yes, I'm a nerd)

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  13. I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I think I will leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

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I always appreciate the gesture to stop and take a moment to comment. Thank you!