Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Do You Think My Shop Vac Would Clog Sucking Up Mrs.C.O.B.??? (the video evidence)

Oh the garden. Wasn't it just a few weeks ago, I was boasting the garden was my sanctuary, my place to feel happy and release stress? Then moved in my problem with Pill Bugs and Earwigs, which was quickly remedied with a little Shop Vacuuming. I am happy to report I ate my very first zucchini tonight, grilled with olive oil. I rescued the half eaten plant, cared for it morning, noon, and night, and it thanked me with nourishment. 

Then my garden drama moved on to Mrs.C.O.B. or Mrs. Crotchety*Old*Bag, as I prefer to call her. It was just a few days ago that she enlightened me that she did not like my flowers growing on her half of the fence (full story). I was naive to believe our conversation was just that, words spoken.

Turns out, Mrs.C.O.B. had plans for my outrageous vining flowers, she would simply rip them out. Now mind you, Mrs.C.O.B. doesn't get around very well. She sits and waters. She kneels and leans about 2 inches from the ground when weeding. (Just for the record Mrs.C.O.B. is not a woman who is lonely, her daughter lives with her and she has five other children that visit her sometimes twice daily or at least once a week.)Apparently her age and mobility does not stop her from climbing her little wire fence and ripping out my flowers.

Monday afternoon, I saw her out my kitchen window. I grabbed my camera and moved in for the confrontation friendly chat. Of course after the fact, I can think of a 1,001 things I should have said. But now, there really isn't much more to say. The video speaks for itself. I will tell you, that I have moved on. It is what it is and I have no control over it. I feel angry, but that anger is subsiding. I have used a secondary fence to protect my plants from her wrath.

So do you think my Shop Vac would clog if I tried to suck up this irritable critter, Mrs.C.O.B., that has invaded my precious garden space?


A little side note about the video, unfortunately my many attempts to directly upload to Blogger failed. I'm bummed because the compression from YouTube just about kills the quality of the video, oh the things I must learn. So sorry you had to sit through this crappy version. My husband who makes a living in the film industry is now bowing his head in disgrace. Guess I need to take a Final Cut class and kick up the videos a notch.
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32 comments:

  1. Oh jeez, D, what in the bloody hell is up with the neighbor?

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  2. Oh my goodness. What is wrong with that woman? Too bad you don't have a big dog growling at her everytime she comes near the fence. I bet that would keep her away.

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  3. That's awful! Why would anyone want to rip out flowers?

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  4. Oh my goodness. I can't believe that she just started yanking out and she didn't care. Ugh. (BTW visiting you from All Mediorce...I'll be back for sure )

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  5. ugh! I say we release the kids on the banging pot wall for a good three hours. that'll teach her.

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  6. Lol I need to show this to my mom. I constantly call her the "neighborhood nazi." What a nutcase! I think you should turn the hose on her, and be like "Oops, I was just watering my flowers."

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  7. That is ridiculous.

    I agree with jennie, a few hours of the music wall will get her back.

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  8. Holy freaking bat shit! Elderly neighbors can be a catch-22: quiet but nosy and crotchety. We got lucky and all the elderly people are AT LEAST once house removed from ours. Hope it gets better.

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  9. what the fletch! how rude! urggg! what a mean C.O.B! sorry about your flowers. some people.

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  10. How rude! I have to wait till I get home to watch it with sound, but just the silent video annoyed me. How dare she do that. Seriously. The roots were on YOUR SIDE of the yard! And I think I said something about her maybe being lonely, but clearly she's not, and that wouldn't be a good excuse for such blatant disrespect anyways.

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  11. left you a little something on my blog!

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  12. Oh holy hell!!! I think I need to bake every one of my neighbors a pie and tell them how much I love them.
    Sheesh!

    Can I tell you how much I LOVE that you videotaped it. hehehe

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  13. Wow, I actually feel sorry for her that she has nothing else going on in her life but to dwell about a flower on her half of a fence. The background was fuzzy but it didn't look like her yard had any color in it. She must be a very sad individual.

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  14. Oh dear oh dear if you need to borrow my kids to annoy her one day you are vary welcome. Maybe we could have an annoying the COB as a MOMS club event next month!

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  15. Just found you through All Mediocre and can I just say I think you are awesome for video taping that?

    She would definitely hate having me as a neighbor considering there have been a couple chicken jailbreaks in our yard. I'd shudder to see what she'd do to a chicken on her side of the fence!

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  16. Ridiculous! Who would RIP OUT flowers?!?!

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  17. WHY would she NOT be happy to have lovely flowers that she didn't have to do a THING to get?? How hilarious that your video taped it!

    Keep your eye on your cukes....

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  18. Oh man. I say that this is war! I'm sure there's something you could call the housing committee about regarding her house? lol.

    Or you could always burn something rude into her driveway with bleach. Maybe "Mrs. C.O.B Lives Here" with a Webster-esque definition of C.O.B?

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  19. sheeeeesh. Crazy lady. (REALLY cute header btw!!! It makes me miss those Rockies...*snif snif*)

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  20. Um

    WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??

    (& please don't let yer hubby see MY videos...)

    MizFit

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  21. What makes a person so sad and crotchety. Seriously. At what point in that woman's life did it become OK to be so mean.

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  22. If the Shop Vac fails, I know where you can rent one of those trucks they use to suck the wet leaves out of the storm drains.

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  23. I'm sorry--that is terrible.....any way you can put in a massive fence?

    So tell me about Final Cut--I have all that cool stuff but I am clueless--my kids taught me the movie and garage band apps.

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  24. Holy crap, what a piece of work! She's amazing! Ooh...in the dead of night, toss wildflower seeds over the fence. Or sunflower seeds. Or plant catnip there so the local cat population invades (evil cackle). Seriously, so sorry you have to put up with her.
    Oh, and do you have plans Friday night?

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  25. id plant poison ivy there the vine type!

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  26. Someone get that woman a cat for company, STAT!!!

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  27. I would explain that you are trying to teach your kids to respect their elders and would appreciate it if she respected your/their plants. cut the flowers that stick out her side of the fence if she wants, but don't disturb the roots. and push the cucumber back through the fence if need be. then offer her a zucchini or something...

    and if you want to get her back and she has messy gutters, toss some corn in them. my dad used to do this my aunt when she didn't clean out her gutters and it was hilarious to see these big corn stalks rising...

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  28. Oh good grief... I'm impressed you held it together so well. She sounds very familiar though.. her voice I mean.

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  29. Do you want to borrow my barking dog for a weekend??? Tell her that as long as he is barking on your side of the fence it is ok.

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I always appreciate the gesture to stop and take a moment to comment. Thank you!