Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Last Resort, Stuff My Bra With Cabbage Leaves

It's weird awkward confessional time, here at EatPlayLove.

I spent a great deal of my formative years wondering when I was going to blossom like my peers. Envying those girls that were spilling out of their bras by tenth grade. And me, well I was 5'11" and 125 pounds, so extra fat for things like blossoming was non existent. I was a stick, literally.

Fast forward to motherhood. First pregnancy gave me some insight into what was to come post-partum, as far as my smaller than average bust. Then my milk supply was established and I felt like Kelly LeBrock in Weird Science. Granted my gorgeous new breasts full of milk, were of course a mixed blessing. I mean they were a thrill for my hubby who fell for me during my smaller years, but then it was weird. They became utilitarian, they were a source of nourishment for not one, but both of my daughters.

For five years now, my body has been in fertility or milk production mode. And, last week, I nursed my 20 month old for the last time. I took the slow route for weaning, ending with a couple of weeks of one feeding a morning, that was it. I thought I was preparing my body appropriately for what was to come. Cessation of milk production.

But no, my breasts are now taking revenge on me. They aren't cooperating as I would have hoped in the "let's stop producing milk" department. They are full, hard, sometimes hot, and mad at me. If only I could flip the switch, time to stop girls. You've done good. As I've heard from the mothering grapevine, time to shrivel up and make me weep thinking of the good ol' milk production days.

In an attempt to help release the uncomfortable nature of my condition, I've resorted to using cabbage leaves stuffed in my bra. Honestly, it has been working. I take two leaves off the head of green cabbage, roll them gently with a rolling pin to release the happy chemicals, and wrap them around my full of milk ta-tas. Too bad my hubby is missing out on this milestone. For the record, I have taken pictures, for I know darn well, they will certainly last longer.

If you have any other tricks up your sleeve on how to get me through the next couple of weeks, please share. Oh and because it's Wednesday and you might just need a good laugh, here's the partial evidence.

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29 comments:

  1. I've never heard of that! What a funny picture!

    I vote that you periodically report back to us how many hits this photo got and from what crazy search engine strings got people there. Then give us their IP addresses so that we can hunt them down and laugh at them (unless of course they are weaning their child(ren), in which case, no laughing. Just gifts of cabbage).

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  2. As a retired labor and delivery RN, I have recommended cabbage leaves to many patients!

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  3. Oh, man, D, that is hilarious! But seems to be doing the trick, yes? I would just make sure that there is nothing milk PRODUCING in your diet. Beer (hops,) fennel, ummm, I'm trying to think of some more...you get the picture.

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  4. Sorry - Nursing didn't work out for me - so I just did a one month stint with my first. Stopping was like a non-event. But I feel for you - I have heard similar stories from friends. Other than ice packs - I haven't really heard any better solutions (you know - to top "lettuce").

    Good luck!

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  5. Well, the really good news is, if you're ever out and about and you suddenly get hungry, you know where you can find something to eat. :)

    Good luck!!

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  6. I just stopped nursing my 15th month old and did it gradually, too. He was nursing about 4 times a day, then 3x/day for a week, then 2x/day for a week, and then 1x/day for a couple of weeks. And when I thought I had nursed him for the last time, I became REALLY full as well and he nursed probably 1x on the third day of not nursing and 1x on the 8th day to relieve the pressure. I also hand expressed a little in the shower which was quite easy with how full I was. I did not have to do that after the last nursing, I guess my body finally got the picture. =) Hope this helps!

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  7. I am so worried now. I have been nursing, pregnant or both for almost 11 YEARS--11. seriously. I have weaned by pregnancy induced milk depletion. Spanky turns two in literally hours from now and I am thinking of weaning but I am not going to get pregnant to wean him so I thought I would do the gradual approach and my milk and his interest would slowly dry up. I thought this was how it happened :0
    Send me the left over cabbage in the next few months I guess ;)

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  8. Oh man, I know that's painful! I had that...but on only one side. Yes, you can imagine how funny I looked for a while. I have never hear of that rememdy. I'll keep that in mind for the next go-round.

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  9. Oh man, I know that's painful! I had that...but on only one side. Yes, you can imagine how funny I looked for a while. I have never hear of that rememdy. I'll keep that in mind for the next go-round.

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  10. I remember that hurt. Can you pump off just a tad to take the pressure off but not enough to encourage production? I'm afraid you'll just have to suffer through this a bit.

    I stopped nursing Clingmonkey after a year and several months later ended up with a clogged duct. Ouch.

    Nice boob, btw.

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  11. I bound my breasts with a towel and would take hot showers so they could let down. I didn't do the cabbage route as no one told me. I did hear later from a friend that it worked for her. It took about a week total for me and things were all good again. Shocked at the boob loss, but good..

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  12. I never heard of that either! Glad it's helping.

    When I nursed, I got huge--too huge. I actually missed my A-cup days. I didn't feel sexy at all--more like a cow. Guess those giant nursing bras didn't help. But when I finally quit nursing, they went back to normal painlessly, thank goodness.

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  13. I have heard of cabbage leaves. My friend also said a long hot shower helped. I hope it gets better soon.

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  14. I have never heard of that. Did it work??
    I suppose you've already tried the alternating between ice packs and hotpads? Then, I'm out of ideas.
    Good luck!

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  15. cabbage and sage tea worked for me but it took a bit of time. take some Tylenol too.

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  16. My breasts got hot to the touch too after nursing. Cabbage leaves helped as well as ice packs.

    Cute pic! :-)

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  17. Hahaha that's so hardcore. You definitely bring a whole new meaning to "being green."

    Word.

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  18. Did you know that the last time she nursed would be the last time? -or only in retrospect? Ray is 16 months now, so I know it's coming sometime this year, and the thought of it makes me really sad. We only nurse about 4x/day now, but I'll miss her when it's done :(

    -also, chasteberry (Vitex) can dry up milk (or increase ir depending on doseage).

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  19. Oh yes, the wonderful cabbage leaves. I feel for you. That is very painful. I really hope it works out! I love the picture - ha!

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  20. All I have is OUCH! I know that feeling. Hope the pain subsides soon.

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  21. I used cabbage, and it did help! Also, I would pump just enough to relieve the pressure. I am so with you on the pictures b/c mine will never look like that again! Love your blog!

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  22. Great photo!

    Keep up the cabbage leaves and try to squeeze out a little milk when they feel too full. It will slowly go away. sorry for the pain.

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  23. I had to do that too...after Grace was born...I couldn't breastfeed because of my high blood pressure and had to change meds...I stuffed for a about a week and the tata's went down and dry...hope it doesn't take too long for your tata's to get back to shape;o)

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  24. I remember the cabbage leaves! They were a life saver!

    I also recommend lots of wine....

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  25. Thank Goodness you had an actual picture because I don't think I could have drawn that! OMG. You are so funny. And clever. That is what I have heard to do but I never tried it.

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  26. LOL, now the comment on my blog makes sense! I hadn't been able to check my reader all week....glad you aren't needing the cabbage any more!

    Weaning, that was an emotional time for me...

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  27. {chuckle} The picture makes the post. LOL Yeah, you'll have to share the google hits you get on this one.
    And this is really something I wish I had remembered when I weaned J. I was terribly sick and just said screw it, I'm done. And stopped. He was 6 months old (I was desperate for good antibiotics). I paid for it dearly and the girls are still droopy and sad. LOL

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  28. Wow, I've never heard of that remedy. I'll keep it in mind in the future, should I ever need it. I hope you get to feeling better soon.

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