Monday, March 29, 2010

It's official, I have lied to my children. It was in their best interest...

Well, part of our situation with having to remove Milo from our home was complicated by what we would ultimately tell our girls. Anyone that is a parent or basically with a functioning rational brain knows you can't tell a six year old their dog, the one they love more than everything, needs a new home because THEY are allergic.

Wasn't gonna happen.

My daughter is very sweet and caring, a bit of a joker, but takes things very close to the heart. She's always worn her heart on her sleeve and with maturity has learned to work through feelings of hurt or frustration, rather than just shutting down and pulling away. She has a infectious smile with beautiful large dimples. All I could imagine was the tears. Lots of flowing tears.

J and I danced around the talk so many different ways. We had to text one another in the same room, I may have even gotten an email, we phoned each other. All of our processing was Top Secret! Maybe I have some potential to be a spy. All of our processing was stressful. We talked through so many scenarios as to what to tell the girls. We talked through do we tell them their dog is moving away and scoot him out the door promptly, do we tell them and let them hang out with him for another week? Which is more painful??? If only we had the manual on the perfect way to handle the situation.

I had a dog when I was my girls' age and he went for a ride one day and never came back. That I know I wouldn't do.

Oh the scenarios that came into our discussion. We contemplated the moving excuse (even though it's a bit far fetched as our home isn't even on the market yet), my dad said tell them he ran away (we thought of the months and months of endless searching and sign making), then my mother came up with the best idea yet.

So this is how the story goes...

I would be lying if I said our girls weren't on to us. They knew something was up, but I don't think they anticipated what we were going to tell them. We sat them down and told them a lie. A lie to protect them, a lie to keep innocence nurtured, a lie which I don't think is right. But guilt and sadness brought on by something that is uncontrollable (allergy) is not something I could live with, so I chose lying. Gulp. Consider this my trip to confession.

The story basically went that Milo was a stray at the Humane Society when we adopted him. Truth: he was a surrender from Kansas. We went on to tell them the family that originally owned Milo contacted us and they had been in search of him since this summer. We discussed it and the girls thought it would be best to return him to his original family. That's what they hoped someone would do for us if we ever lost our dog. We talked about how we loved Milo so deeply for this family, but it would be time to give him back.

Innocent lie, no?

The first thing out of my 3yo's mouth, "mom what was his name?". I thought that little shit, she has such a deep thinking mind, she wanted to know what his real name was, as we gave him the name Milo. I wanted to say Mommy is improving here darling, I definitely didn't get that deep into my tall tales. Our 6yo was incredibly upset, but also very brave and head smart about situation. We talked a lot and shed many tears.

Even though we will miss Milo, one fabulous dog, it's wonderful to know he's moved on to a loving home. Ironically enough they have two girls 6 and 3. If there could be a happy ending to the sadness we feel, we achieved it. We will certainly miss our pup.

4 comments:

  1. So sad, but glad you've found a good home and your daughter will hopefully have much better health.

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  2. Oh hon, I know this was so hard for you. And I hope the transition goes smoothly. Give the girls a hug for me, and one for you too. :)

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  3. my heart goes out to you guys.

    xo

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  4. Oh - I'm so sorry. Those poor little guys - and poor you. I can't imagine how hard it was to let him go...

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