Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Desperately Seeking BALANCE...

Balance, the notion that creeps into my daydreams. Balance, the notion that I put on a pedestal, the obtainable goal. I'm always striving for balance. Balance isn't something that should be chased, in my mind it should be achieved harmoniously. But still, I find my thoughts and sometimes my actions in the forever pursuit of balance.

I can apply the concept of balance to every aspect of my life.

Take for example the laundry. Piles and piles, chaotically strewn in front of the washer and dryer waiting to be dealt with is out of balance. Balance as one could equate to laundry would be a simpler ebb and flow, a load daily, a folded basket put away promptly each night. A morning not enduring chaos of digging clean clothes out of a pile or basket, balance. Odd socks creating an unsightly pile on top of my dresser shall be thrown out, only mates are balanced.

Now let's say, food. I have to admit food balance is higher up on my priority list these days than laundry. I do know that if my caloric intake is out of balance a direct result can be ill fitting jeans or avoidance of mirrors. But alas I want to shed some weight, so I perch myself on the food balance beam and focus like an olympic athlete. I don't banish any foods, but I strive to balance my plate and cup, with every meal. I've given up chai during the week and replaced it simply with green chai tea bags, made with water and no sugar. On the weekends I indulge in a cup of my regular sugar and milk laden chai. For me that is a new balance, a good balance. I have also put emphasis on my activity level to balance out the potential for over consumption of calories. Burning calories is always a win-win situation in my book.

Enter hiking. The trails and mountains are just this place that is calling me lately. When you can hike five miles with out really batting an eye, that type of balance is awe inspiring. I can't quite explain why now or the comfort level I feel when hiking, but it's my new gym membership. It's mother nature showing me that I can recharge mentally and physically in my daily seeking of balance. Today funny enough I felt out of balance because I couldn't just hop on a trail for an hour or so and decompress.

Balance in my home is more like harmony. For me, harmony in the home is everything has a place, piles don't exist for weeks on end, and cleaning is a daily chore. Apparently I've lost control of the harmony in my home because I'm in this space where I don't know where to begin. I'm overwhelmed by the thought of weeding out, even though I desperately want to let so much of the stuff surrounding me go. Maybe I should start with the pile of dishes in my sink. A balanced home would never have a dust bunny sauntering by on the hardwood floors while I sit and read a book with my daughter. The weight of achieving harmony in my home is overwhelming me. In the spirit of balance, I just need to focus on small accomplishments and not berate myself for fingerprints, piles of laundry, or a chaotic bookshelf.

I'm not quite sure when, but someday my jeans will just slip over my hips with out the slightest tug. Putting on a bathing suit will be as simple as throwing on my bathrobe after a shower. My home will be free of chaos and harmony will arrive. I envision that feeling to be like opening the windows on a spring day and letting the breeze blow through cleansing us.

Maybe I'm not so desperate, but balance is on the horizon. See...


  1. Amen sister! I am in constant pursuit of balance as well.

  2. I love how that picture so perfectly captured this post... you are almost... there... finding that perfect balance! But... it's hard, if not impossible, to find balance.
    At least for me it is. I work during the week, sometimes feeling guilty that I'm not with my children. And then I go home and play with my kids, and sometimes let them play on their own (totally fine) as I empty the dishwasher or do the laundry or make the beds, but then I feel guilty that I'm not focussed only on them... then of course, balance with cooking/eating well - next to impossible for me. My struggle with losing weight and the battle with carbs... and then the whole "I don't have enough time to write/blog" ... eek. I'm stressed now!

    (But great post!)

  3. Oh that photo is so sweet.

    I worry that once my is free of chaos and harmony will arrive... my children will be off in their own lives and I'll miss the chaos.

  4. Do we ever really achieve balance again after having children?

  5. Balance can be a daily struggle for me too. It all depends on what kind of mood I'm in. I also try to remember that I am human and sometimes it's okay to slack.

    Love the picture BTW!
    Melissa :)


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