But most importantly, I didn't feel it.
J and I showed up to the home for our fourth time. I walked around out back admiring the flagstone patio and identifying the plants that were growing around the property. I peeked in the windows of the almost perfect oversized garage in the backyard. We went inside in search of evidence of things we now knew were in the home, but they were all hidden. Property disclosures are an amazing thing people. I do feel lucky the owner was so open and honest about the history of the property because from a walk-through you would have no idea.
We were standing in the kitchen and I tried to convince myself I wanted this house. I stood there looking for qualities that I loved or more honestly that I liked. For this particular house my favorite things about it were the location, the garage, and the wood floors. The only thing in the house I liked were the hardwoods.
I just couldn't justify buying a house for the hardwood floors. Hardwoods are easy enough to put into any house eventually, it's the floor plan or main living space that I want to fall in love with. It doesn't have to be cosmetically perfect or to our aesthetic, but I really do want to be giddy with excitement about the house we are buying. I never felt excited about this house, it was practical and so we went for it.
After we left the house, our realtor asked if we wanted to write an offer. We said yes. J and I returned to pick up Sj from school just about 5 minutes away and we sat on a bench chatting about if this was it. In that moment I was honest. Honest about how it was perfect in so many ways, but the reality was this particular house came with a ton of baggage (from issues over the years). We decided to close the chapter on this house and not put in an offer.
Now I am actively seeking out apartments. Temporary housing so we don't have to settle on a house we wouldn't buy if there were other options. I just don't know how long it's going to take for that other option to come into our life. I never imagined being in this position, heading into the holidays with no home.
Chin up and moving forward!