Tuesday, December 13, 2011

My Birthday Wish, A New Year and A New Journey...

I never gave a second thought to my December birthday growing up, even though it is less than two weeks before Christmas, they never really meshed in my mind. I'm counting my blessings my mom and dad never stuck a birthday candle in a hockey puckesque fruit cake and belted out the birthday song. I have fond memories of homemade round layer cakes, always adorned by those hard sugar Happy Birthday letters you can still purchase in the baking aisle of the grocery store.

I don't think the birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper started happening until I was in my twenties. Living in Colorado with all my family in New York, a birthday slash Christmas package would arrive in one fell swoop. Really it wasn't to take away anything from "my special day" it was just practicality. I've had long conversations with other fellow Sagittarians and I'm always amazed at how some people feel robbed to have December birthdays.

What's the famous saying, it is what we make of it?

Now here's the kicker. Starting a few weeks ago, I've had an overwhelming desire to make some changes in my life. They are mainly related to lifestyle, it's truly the mental fog (hello, denial) of bearing some physical weight I'm having a tough time shedding. I want to feel differently about this body I've had exactly 38 years to come to terms with. While my endurance and strength are apparent as I casually take myself out on a 5 mile hike, I want to feel that same reality when I look in the mirror. I have a hard time seeing the beauty within when I catch a glimpse of a reflection passing by a storefront window. My eyes instantly focus on the areas of my body that I try to conceal, knowing a bulge here or there is the physical representation of what I have not shown I can control.

Which brings me to having a December 13th birthday... I've got a 3 week head start on the focus I want to bring to my daily life, putting at the top of my list my eating habits and exercise. While some will wait until the end of the holiday season, making January 1st the day to start anew, I will start today. When I blow out my candles tonight, I'm going to wish for the strength and courage to find that place in me that recognizes I am good enough to have exactly what I want. As with wishes you unfortunately can't buy a perfect body image, so instead my focus turns to self confidence, dedication, and courage that will make it happen.

To a new year and a new journey...

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7 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday to you, Denise. You are giving yourself the best gift you can give. Happy New Year.

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  2. Happy Birthday, lovely lady!

    I know exactly where you're coming from, because my brain struggles similarly with the bulges & jiggly bits I try to conceal. That said, I'm also struggling a little bit with your statement "I am good enough to have exactly what I want." Not because you're NOT good enough, but because I think that sometimes we just don't get/achieve what we want no matter how "good" we are. I guess I worry because the flip side of that statement is some serious setup for self-flagellation that we're somehow NOT good enough if we fail to achieve. Do you know what I mean?

    I wish you much success with your goals, but, more than that, I wish you peace with yourself and with where you're at now. Don't forget that real beauty lies beneath the bulges & jiggly bits, and know that I think you're one of the most beautiful people I know. Truly. Health & fitness are excellent goals, but don't lose sight of the beauty you already possess.

    I think that sometimes, as a culture and ESPECIALLY as women, we focus so much on always improving & achieving more that we lose the ability to find happiness & peace in the NOW.

    Or maybe I'm just feeling extra Zen-ish today. =)

    SO, my birthday message for you today is:

    You are enough. Right now. Today.

    And I wish peace & happiness for you, in all that you do.
    xox

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  3. I want you to remember Jamestown. You are very strong and your body is capable of so much that it will scare you when you realize it. F--- the people or the voice in your head that says you can't. YOU CAN!! I love you and I hope you have an amazing year.

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  4. I've said it already but HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

    It's funny how we see ourselves and judge our "flaws" when others would look upon us and think something totally different. I wish I could look at myself with the kindness I look at other people. I see you and think only "beautiful".

    Here's hoping 38 is the year it clicks for you. xo

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  5. I've struggled with the bulge and jiggles issue too. But you know what? My body, your body gives you life. It's a beautiful thing. A wonderful life that you are living each and every day with your wonderful husband and two beautiful, special girls. Enjoy your 38th year of life.

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  6. Happy birthday Denise.

    I know that you will do ANYTHING you put your mind to do.

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  7. Wow Birthday Soul Sista - you just read my mind! I do birthday resolutions also - have for the last 6 years. My post is going up tomorrow.

    You can do whatever you put your mind to! Let me know how I can help. But I know you will kick-ass. You have to. You're a Saggitarian :-)

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I always appreciate the gesture to stop and take a moment to comment. Thank you!