Thursday, August 23, 2012

Back to School: Learning How To Be Alone

The feeling is odd. Being alone. I'm learning how to be alone again. I've spent the last nine years with a little one by my side for the majority of my days and now I find myself with longer stretches of alone time. I've already caught myself on the escape with hikes, coffee, and lunch out with friends.

But today I've forced myself to stay home, well after a hike. 

The dishwasher is running and I've created a to do list. I feel anxious to find the balance of this new time to myself without running away from what I have. With nothing but good intentions, I am focusing on being present. I didn't realize this wouldn't come so naturally to me. Time to do the work, embrace this next phase, and understand the emptiness I feel will allow me to be more present when my side kicks are back home.

2 comments:

  1. Honestly - I can't wait. One thing I had going for me when I was a working mom and didn't see my kids all day is that I was 100% engaged when were were together. And since becoming a stay at home mom, I have slowly shifted into that "as soon as I finish this load of laundry" answer for everything. It's not that I didn't have to do the laundry before - but the limited time I had with my children shifted it lower on the priority list.

    I'll struggle more with the guilt of having all that time to myself while my husband is at work. Seems like I should be finding a way to make some money when the kids are out of the house for 6+ hours a day!

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  2. My little one is only 4 now and I'm already dreading that phase of my life. The what do I do with myself now phase.

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