Thursday, March 7, 2013

Staring At The Core Of My Being

The house was eerily quiet, I pulled out the chair to sit down at my wooden farmhouse table. I picked up a cardboard box that was broken away in the corners and dumped a handful of puzzle pieces on a vintage floral plate. My hand brushed over the pieces, I swiftly picked up a piece, the one I knew would fit right where I needed it. In a completely unexpected move, a hand came from behind me, and swiped the landscape of Tuscany onto the floor. As pieces went flying I sat, flushed, and overwhelmed. The table was now empty, except for a few strewn pieces.

I looked down at a puzzle piece that was the baskets of laundry I didn't finish folding. I saw another piece and it was the crumbs that collected in a little lip of the intersection of my kitchen and great room floors. I saw the overwhelmed feeling when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It wasn't but a moment before I realized there were emails I had never responded to perfectly represented in a Cypress tree puzzle piece. There was a sheet of scrap paper glueing together all of my family's commitments in the next week, it was one of my favorites, a corner piece. I took a final glimpse and saw some cobwebs, water stains on the bathroom faucet, unhung jackets, fingerprints on the storm door glass, a card for a free 30 day membership to the gym that went unused, a whisper to put in Girl Scout cookie sale incentives, a plea to get my resume together, a stack of folded up and tucked away MBA program papers, a cup of ice cream I should've said no to, the inescapable depression that accompanies pants that don't button with ease.

Settled on the wooden floor, were 996 pieces representing all the ways I haven't quite kept my life together lately. A collective unaccomplished. Then out of the corner of my eye, I saw the 4 pieces remaining on the table. Oddly enough the pieces were mirrored, a mirror I couldn't avert my eyes from. It wouldn't allow me to hide in all the excuses I wear with comfort. I was exposed, the core of my being was sitting right in front of me, and it made me cry.



  1. This is beautifully put, and instantly relatable.

  2. xoxo

    Looking forward to seeing your face & talking over a drink next week.

  3. This is beautiful... hugs hugs hugs to you... xo

  4. This is so beautifully written. I have felt the same way, many times. Love and hugs....Melissa


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