When you step on a scale and the number seems so incredibly disjointed and foreign from the last time your bare feet curled up and stepped on, I absolutely hate that feeling. I experienced that this weekend and it left me disheartened and confused. The only connection I could make was that I went out with friends on Friday night and had a few drinks, definitely a couple more than my normal one or two. My body clearly held onto every ounce of water I inhaled on Saturday in an attempt to swing the pendulum back and hydrate. Gross.
Just one little number from a digital display surrounded by stainless steel and my bare feet, leaves me feeling defeated and disappointed. One number and a night out washes away the positive and conscious changes I've been making. Which is probably why I haven't owned a scale my entire adult life until I finally broke down and purchased one last year. For some reason my weight can change dramatically in a day or two. I go through phases where my scale either gathers dust sitting under my bed or I use the thing constantly, stripping down to naked to see what number appears before me. Shame or celebration, over and over, tied to a number.
This time, I'm trying to not feel shame, but just recognize I am on a journey not on a mission. My journey shall teach me lessons about how I treat my body and help me guide my way to a better self. I haven't quite found that balance, but know my rewards come in many forms such as how I feel at the top of a climb on a hike that once left me breathless and needing a water stop on my way up. I've always gauged how I'm feeling by how I feel in a pair of jeans. Right now, I'm not happy in jeans. I just want to wear yoga pants, which is a sign to step up my commitment.
At bedtime I was reading the latest issue of Real Simple, I was struck by this advertisement by a big cereal company. I think it's one of the most brilliant marketing campaigns for women I've ever seen, but I don't eat their products. I'm starting today to stop the fat talk, the negative self talk, the fat shaming.
I am brought back to NURTURE, not a number. My journey starts with me, it's time to honor that.
Here's the related campaign video: