Shop At MalWart From Your Couch! Just What America Needs.
America, our day has arrived. You don't have to get off your couch to shop at MalWart. As a savvy shopper and influencer, I have been offered a sneak peek at this new service and FREE DELIVERY! Wow! A company that made $15.7 BILLION in profits in 2012 has offered me free delivery, I really can't contain my excitement. Oh and I can share with my social networks, for free. Sounds like an amazing opportunity. The problem is the last time I shopped at MalWart for groceries, was never. I'm going to keep my streak alive.
It was hard to turn down this generous offer, but indeed I had to pass all in the name of integrity.