Wednesday March 18th was going to be such a happy day, the day J was to return from a trip to Nepal. As it turns out, today was conversely a sad day, a day when I finally crawled into bed just moments after the girls were tucked in and I cried. Apparently I needed a good cry. A good cry for holding it all together, through the my trip has been extended news, through driving off in my car after witnessing a group of girls not being kind to my sweet girl, through hugs and big smiles the way a mother needs to stay composed even though I'm deflated on the inside. Through damn me for grocery shopping yesterday because I don't have the energy to cook dinner, but guilt so strong, I sucked it up and cooked dinner. Through, I can't quite recall the last time I slept through the night, maybe February before J left on his trip. The girls and I have grown closer these past few weeks. Our vulnerable collective leaves me feeling so completely raw and depleted, but tomorrow is another day. Another day to pack lunches, make breakfast, get the three of us to school/work on time, get to after school activities, come home cook dinner, sit around and laugh, shower, brush teeth, tuck in the girls, and do it all over again.
Maybe tomorrow night will come without tears, but more than likely it won't.