Saturday, November 14, 2015

Her Web Is Glorious And It Sparkles When The Sunshine Hits It Just Right (see also, this post is about Loss)

Some very sad news arrived in my inbox tonight. I sat with my laptop screen open as the tears rolled down my face, I read the words over and over again. My mind wanted to pretend it missed the good news part, the holding onto hope part, but it wasn't there. While the news was not completely unexpected, it did not lessen the pain. It didn't stop my brain from fearing I may never see her again or reflecting upon the fact, if I only knew the Friday in August would be the last day I would see her. I let my mind process what it needs to. I let the tears flow. I cling onto all the moments I remember her pure laughter, her smile, the happiness I felt in her presence, and how it was always a gift to steal even a few minutes of her time to chat. I am overcome by how much goodness she has brought into my life, she is wise and I admire that about her. 

photo source
But the reality is we are losing a cherished and adored member of our community, someone I love and consider a friend. She is incredibly vibrant, outspoken, and driven by a very unique love of educating children with her whole heart. She is a fierce progressive in the most brilliant sense. We share a love for Twitter and it felt like our bat channel, where we commonly have late night conversations interspersed with interesting articles we were reading. She formed a special bond with my youngest daughter which in turn ignited a passion for learning in her, and I will forever be indebted.

It's not difficult to focus on the countless ways she's touched so many lives. I imagine the web of children, colleagues, and families she's inspired over the last two decades. The web is glorious and it sparkles when the sunshine hits it just right and it continues to weave into others endlessly. I wish I could carry around a little box of bandaids and put them over the small holes that have formed in our hearts in an attempt to help us through the healing. I want so desperately to fix this. My focus now is on sending her love and light and on the passage of time being peaceful for her, the way a heart centric person deserves to be held and honored through this time. My heart will forever hold a special space which has been carved out for no one other than her.


  1. You just articulated everything I am feeling and why I am feeling it. Thank you. In moments like this it is helpful for the insight and under standing that you provide. Sad sad times.

  2. Beautifully expressed. I am sorry for your loss, and the world's loss as well.


I always appreciate the gesture to stop and take a moment to comment. Thank you!