Mrs.C.O.B. Doesn't Like Flowers

Every morning, I am up and out in my garden within ten minutes. This ritual is so predictable that our 20 month old said the other morning, daddy "eat" and mommy "garden", after we woke up. Yes, my hubby prepares breakfast and I examine the damage, growth, water, maybe vacuum a few bugs up, and greet our plants. Typically, I am in my pajamas, but we have privacy fencing on three sides of our yard, so I don't give it much thought.

For the last couple of weeks, my next door neighbor, Mrs. C.O.B. or Mrs.Crotchety-Old-Bag, as I like to call her has also been out in her yard. Yes, it's the side with out the privacy fence. Now in my like to get along with the neighbors attitude, I always wish Mrs.C.O.B. a "good morning and how are you today?" Typically she responds with some negative comment about the weather or how my garden has weeds.

Now I weed my garden, but I don't obsess about a few here and there. When they grow a few inches long, I pick them. It's an ongoing process and considering I don't use chemicals, my garden is bound to have weeds. It doesn't bother me, but it bothers Mrs.C.O.B. apparently.

Yesterday, I once again was graced with Mrs.C.O.B.'s presence. And then this conversation transpired:

Me- Good Morning Mrs.C.O.B.

Mrs.C.O.B.- Oh goodness, I didn't know it was going to be so hot already this morning, I even put on my coat.

Me- Yeah, it's going to be a hot one again.

Mrs.C.O.B.- Why did you plant your garden so close to the fence?

Me- Well, why is your garden so close to the fence? (her flower garden runs the length of our fence on her side)

Mrs.C.O.B.- Well, my flowers don't bother anyone. What are those flowers you planted anyway? They are growing up the fence!!!

Me- Well, they are Scarlet Runner Bean Flowers. I planted vining flowers intentionally along the fence. I like them. And, for the record, this is the sunniest spot in my yard because of the Cottonwood. I point up, showing her how our 50 year old tree shades our entire yard, except for this very spot. Then I top it off with and gardens need sunshine to grow. I didn't want the raised planting bed in the middle of my shady yard.

Mrs.C.O.B.- Well it's half my fence you know. And I don't like them. They are growing into my yard! I guess it's time for me to go in.

Me- La, La, La, earplugs anyone?

So after the C.O.B. went inside, I took a closer inspection of my annoying flowers from her perspective. Yes the flowers have sent vines up the fence, covering both sides. Honestly they are about 2-3 feet wide. That is the only thing I have growing on the fence, except for one cucumber plant. All of my other cukes are vining on a little trellis I built for them, on my side of the fence.

My reaction, so the C.O.B. doesn't like flowers. How typical. I guess I would consider my 3 feet of vining flowers to be growing on our 50% of the fence. Now, I wait for her to go inside before I go out and water. Seriously, who doesn't like flowers.

When I am writing this blog in 40 years, will you guys remind me to chill out on the flower hating?



  1. Holy crap what a grump! You did good not to climb over the fence and punch her...coat? and all.

  2. I have the same problem with my next-door-neighbor. They keep their yard "scalped" all summer long and have managed to remove 90% of the vegetation and plants from their front yard. My yard may be weedier with more flowers, but at least my lawn is green (I always mow it high). I've just learned to ignore my neighbors! Hopefully in a few more years, the hedgerow I have started between our two driveways will be tall enough to block my view of their yard and their view of mine - then we'll both be happy!

  3. My mother had a similar problem, and actually had to put up a fence RIGHT BESIDE the existing fence, so that there were two fences >thisclose< to each other, in order to avoid bloodshed.


  4. Ugh on the grump! What can you do???

  5. we might be sharing neighbors ;)
    Ours called me when we started a new lawn service trying to get us to your theirs so it would be cut the same day. Laughs on them though--our yard kicks their butt. And I bet your garden is much prettier--and natural!

  6. OH my friends....Can you feel my blood boiling right now? I just videotaped Mrs. COB pulling out my flowers and me confronting her.

    I've had to do some redesign in the garden to help keep her batty fingers at bay!

    Don't worry the footage will be appearing this week!

  7. move Drum Wall to the your 50% of the fence...

  8. What a grouch. I'd love for my neighbors to plant flowers. Instead, the weeds from the house behind ours are actually growing up UNDER the block wall and into my roses. Not.Happy.

    Can't wait for the video!

    (Here from All Mediocre)

  9. Maybe she's just lonely and doesn't know how to get any positive attention, so she's crotchety and critical. Maybe your girls could take her pictures or fresh made cookies and lemonade or something.

  10. Of all the things that could seep into your yard you'd think flowers would be the best! Who complains about flowers growing in their yard? Ca-razy!!

  11. OMG who complains about FLOWERS? Its not like your dog goes out every morning to piss on her side of the fence or bark in her ear all day!!


  12. I was going to say the same thing about the banging wall!!

  13. Some people just always want something to bitch about. I hope I'm not a C.O.B when I'm older. :)

  14. can't wait for the video. My drugged up husband smiles and says many swear words!

  15. I think Mrs. C.O.B can build her own dang fence on her side - but that would be no fun b/c then she'd have no one to plague. :)

  16. Keep an eye peeled for road kill on your travels. As you collect them, bury them shallowly under her shrubs, or stash them under porches. She will be driven insane by the smell. Especially during this heat. It will be so bad, she'll have to move.


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