Honoring the feeling that the house, just wasn't right...

The chaos that has become our housing situation has simply taken over our lives. I would love to write about what I made for dinner or about a hike I took on Sunday, but I can't because we are all house, all the time. Yesterday we returned to a house that we were going to write on for a second time. We did our homework and knew the problems that came with this particular house. We've spoken to contracting companies, studied structural engineer write ups and drawings, and tried to read through air quality testing results.

But most importantly, I didn't feel it.

J and I showed up to the home for our fourth time. I walked around out back admiring the flagstone patio and identifying the plants that were growing around the property. I peeked in the windows of the almost perfect oversized garage in the backyard. We went inside in search of evidence of things we now knew were in the home, but they were all hidden. Property disclosures are an amazing thing people. I do feel lucky the owner was so open and honest about the history of the property because from a walk-through you would have no idea.

We were standing in the kitchen and I tried to convince myself I wanted this house. I stood there looking for qualities that I loved or more honestly that I liked. For this particular house my favorite things about it were the location, the garage, and the wood floors. The only thing in the house I liked were the hardwoods.

I just couldn't justify buying a house for the hardwood floors. Hardwoods are easy enough to put into any house eventually, it's the floor plan or main living space that I want to fall in love with. It doesn't have to be cosmetically perfect or to our aesthetic, but I really do want to be giddy with excitement about the house we are buying. I never felt excited about this house, it was practical and so we went for it.

After we left the house, our realtor asked if we wanted to write an offer. We said yes. J and I returned to pick up Sj from school just about 5 minutes away and we sat on a bench chatting about if this was it. In that moment I was honest. Honest about how it was perfect in so many ways, but the reality was this particular house came with a ton of baggage (from issues over the years). We decided to close the chapter on this house and not put in an offer.

Now I am actively seeking out apartments. Temporary housing so we don't have to settle on a house we wouldn't buy if there were other options. I just don't know how long it's going to take for that other option to come into our life. I never imagined being in this position, heading into the holidays with no home.

Chin up and moving forward!


  1. Chin up is perfect - A house is a BIG deal and you want it to be the right one. The perfect one. Hopefully it won't take long for it to show up for you!

  2. I'm sorry this has been so hard for you. Good Luck. It's not an easy decision at all. Pretty soon, though, you'll be able to write about the perfect house. :)

  3. I think you are smart for realizing NOW what exactly you like about the house. I agree...finishes can be changed. But, location, siting, layout and flow can't really be changed. We rented a temporary house in Boulder for 5 months on a month-to-month lease so that we could find "our" house. It sucked, but the long-term situation is so much better.

  4. You were smart to speak up. It's inconvenient to deal with all the drama, but it's much better than moving into a house and realizing that you won't be staying there, or that you'll have to spend more money than you want to make the house somewhere you can stay.

  5. I know moving into an apartment isn't what you were expecting....but now you are allowing the right house and situation to come into your life.

    I don't see how you can possibly regret this move.

  6. We sold our house, and our living plan collapsed. We had to live with family for a few months, then we rented a house for almost 6 months, found out baby was on the way, looked at dozens of homes, and then....we walked into the house we knew was ours. Hectic, unexpected, stressful...all of it. But it works out. Do keep your chin up. It will all work out exactly as it is meant to.

  7. I think you are doing the right thing,following your instinct. Selling, buying, moving is very difficult and stressful; we DEFINITELY know about that! Try to look at the positives of the situation: that house will come, it will just take patience and perserverance; you are working together to make this work; you have great friends and family for support; you will eventually live in Boulder (nice!); you won't be stuck in something you hate; and if you don't have a home for the holidays, you will for the following year. A new home, a new year. Good luck my friend. I'll be rooting for you. - Melissa

  8. One more thing....the importance of the holidays is being TOGETHER as a family, regardless of your placement. - Melissa


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